Install Theme
Post It ❤

m4ge:

Dresses are so nice they’re just tubes of fabric you can throw on with very little effort and when you wear one and people are like “oh wow you dressed up you look really nice” but it’s like

ah yes my disguise is working. you think i cared this morning 

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.

You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.

(Source: never-let--it-die, via retiredjesus)

gayinsect:

im pretty sure bromance is the perfect example of how embarrassingly fragile masculinity is. you know what a female bromance is called? a friendship 

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

awfullyy:

I lost count how many times in a day where I say “I want to sleep”

(via lindsaylohoean)

yakfrost:

youhavetobelieveinme:

can you tell i am a pro at keeping track of my files
image

me tooimage

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

disenchantinqs:

everyone laughs at the number 69 but i wonder how many of you have actually tried it

(via lindsaylohoean)

edwad:

*phone rings*
“hello”
“hi! is your refrigerator running”
“yes it is”
“mine is as well! can’t wait to see your fridge at the race tomorrow”

(via bethchildsonbroadway)

shynun:

typing kkk instead of kk:

image

(Source: carreir, via australiansuperasshole)

burgrs:

if you cant handle me at my worst then leave because i dont have a best im always awful

(via australiansuperasshole)

fullmetalpipscream:

I’M LAUGHING BC THAT’S EXACTLY HOW I FEEL ABOUT SCHOOL NOW

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

stfusluht:

are you a farmer because you know how to raise cock

(via lindsaylohoean)

" WHY DO THEY ALWAYS SLICE THEIR PALM TO GET BLOOD. do you know how many nerve endings are in your hand?!?! why don’t they ever cut the back of their arm or their leg or something omfg "

-

me everytime a character in a movie has to get a few drops of their blood for some ritual bullshit  (via jtoday)

WHILE WE’RE AT IT, why do people try to cross those skinny bridges over lava/chasms/whatever by walking upright. IT’S CALLED CENTER OF GRAVITY. get on your hands and knees and crawl across that thing. HUG IT. SCOOT YOUR BUTT ACROSS. “but i look stupid!” lalalala but we’ll avoid that ~dramatic moment~ where you almost fall over and die because your damn fucking self wanted to look COOL

(via jtoday)

and stop yanking IV lines out of your arms the minute you wake up in the hospital 

(via panconkiwi)

That is a broadsword, why are you fencing with it

(via gallifrey-feels)

There is a freaking door right there. Stop smashing through windows, damn it.

(via intheforestofthenight)

yes, mr. action hero, I am aware that running dramatically from the baddies at breakneck speed is important, but know what else is important? NOT GETTING SHOT. RUN IN A FUCKING ZIGZAG PATTERN ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT THE MOOKS WERE NOT COACHED IN MARKSMANSHIP BY THE IMPERIAL STORMTROOPERS.

(via pterriblepterodactyls)

Oh, hey, you there, sneaky hero-type breaking into any place for any reason? WEAR SOME FUCKING GLOVES. They’re called fingerprints, dumbass. You have them and you’re putting them all over the fucking place.

(via dawnpuppet)

If something really fucking huge is falling on you, don’t FUCKING RUN ALONG THE LENGTH JUST TAKE LIKE TWO FUCKING STEPS TO THE SIDE

(via takshammy)

wEAR A FUCKING HELMET OBERYN YOU LITTLE SHIT

(via brigwife)

(via calliope-plantain)

leo-arcana:

jetblueivy:

drive thru employeesimage definitely image do notimage get paidimage enoughimage forimage this image shitimage they are sick of your nonsenseimage

the last guy wasn’t even phased omg

(via lindsaylohoean)